Nervous Breakdown

My last post about the pies was somewhat deceptive in that it made me look very organized and efficient. So I told Paige my next post would be about my messy house and my nervous breakdown. I took pictures but can only bring myself to post the most mild of them - too embarrassing.

left to right: scary toy closet, boxes sitting in my living room, Sam's work on the kitchen floor, the least scary picture of my office

These are the reasons for my fast approaching nervous breakdown (the speed of its approach depends a lot on the time of the month):

• Sam won't stay out of the dogfood. It is his favorite snack. The other day, I caught him with his cheeks bulging. When I asked him what he had, he started spitting it out to give to me. He gave me an entire handful of soggy dogfood. It took him several spits to get it all out, and then he cried because I took away his snack.



• Yesterday, Sam took apart a pen and got blue ink all over himself - I'm still trying to figure out what else he got the ink on. It's even on his butt. (Don't ask me how - he had a diaper on.)



• This morning, Sam took apart another pen, and I found him sticking its various parts into an electrical outlet.



• He has lately learned to turn on the fireplace.



• I recently found 9 cans of food in the trashcan. Sam is obsessed with the trashcan, so we lose shoes, homework, books, toys, stainless steel mixing bowls, etc. to the trash. Steve finally put a lock on the pantry door. We had to put the lock high enough so that Sam couldn't just drag a chair over to unlock the pantry.



• My older kids leave the diswasher unlocked or open. Yesterday, Sam grabbed a 10 inch long sharp knife, and came running across the kitchen with it pointed straight at me to give it to me. I had just a second to decide: grab the knife or grab the kid, grab the knife or grab the kid. I nearly had a heart attack.

Abby posing with the knife for size perspective (Abby is 6 and very responsible with knives. She also only held this knife under close adult supervision, so no need to call CPS)

With the first few babies, we used to be pretty baby proof. Now, it's impossible to baby proof because the older kids all leave doors open, cupboards unlocked, gates open, pens out, outlet covers off, . . . The list goes on and on. It's a good thing he's cute.