Sam's Man Suit

Doesn't Sam like his new suit?

Or maybe he just wants his bottle that I'm holding hostage over my head.

I tried so hard to get a decent picture of Sam in his hilarious suit, one where he wasn't sucking on his bottle. You can't look like a little man with a bottle hanging out of your mouth, can you? It was a no-go. I finally got him to look up and smile briefly by banging myself on the top of the head with his bottle. But you can still see the tears in his eyes.

I Learned Something New Today

Did you know that if you get Drano on your hands, it burns? But you won't notice the burn for a few hours because alkaline burns sink in deep before they burn you. So once you do notice the burn, there's not a whole lot you can do about it. If you know you've touched Drano, you should rinse it off well with water and then rinse it in vinegar to neutralize it. You should rinse it for several minutes.

Around noon yesterday, Abby washed her hands in my sink that I'd just poured Drano into. Then around 8:00 last night, she started complaining of this sore spot on her hand. 8 HOURS LATER! I called poison control like the bottle told me to, and they said there's not a whole lot I could do for it besides watch it in case it gets worse. Alkaline burns can keep getting worse for several hours because they penetrate deep and kill tissue. It doesn't look like much now, but last night it was weepy and raw and even looked a little bruised and gray. And it sure caused a ruckus around here. Even little burns hurt a lot, especially to a 6 year old.

The first picture above is about 20 hours after she first got Drano on her hand. The second picture is about 30 hours after, and it's gotten significantly worse. At least it's not hurting her anymore unless you touch it, but it kind of freaks me out!

Tree Decorating

We had fun decorating the Christmas tree last night. The kids were very excited to pull out all of the ornaments and find the ones they had made throughout the past several years of school. It's always a challenge for me to come up with creative ways to tell them to hang one of their handmade ornaments in the back of the tree without hurting their feelings. Sarah finally caught on to what I was doing, so I had to explain to her, "I love all of the ornaments you made, but some of them are prettier than others, so I want those ones in the front!" She seemed to take it okay. They took turns using the ladder to get all of the good ornaments up high so Sam couldn't reach them.

Of course, it didn't take Sam long to figure out how to reach the best, most breakable ornaments.

While decorating the tree was fun, Matthew, pubescent boy that he is, was especially excited to hang up the kissing balls.

Everyone wanted to put the star on the top of the tree, but Matthew was the loudest and most obnoxious about it, so he got to do it.

All of the tree decorators were happy with our beautiful tree even though they had to decorate it almost exclusively on the top half.

Unfortunately, a tree that is decorated only on the top half tends to be very top heavy, so it looked somewhat like this in the morning only with fewer ornaments still on it. Luckily, no one was sleeping under it like we usually do the first night.

Abby was very happy, though. After we re-decorated the tree and strapped it to a bolt in the wall, she got to put the star back on the top.

And now we have fewer breakable ornaments for Sam to target.

The True Story

Last night was parent teacher conferences at our junior high. We knew going in what we would find with Anna's grades. We've been dealing with ADHD since kindergarten when I came home from our first ever parent teacher conference in tears. Looking back, I realize that the teacher was an idiot - she didn't have a single positive thing to say to us. Hello . . . it's kindergarten!

Last night, we went ahead and met with her counselor to see what our options are for her. She's in 9th grade, so her grades count now. She can do well and gets A's on nearly everything she turns in, but she works so slowly that she falls behind quickly. And when she falls behind, she falls hard because not handing in homework is a foolproof way to fail all of your classes. The good news is that the counselor told us about this magic thing called a 504 plan. It's for kids with disabilities, including learning disabilities, to help put them on an even playing field. So the counselor is going to start the process of getting a 504 plan in place for her on Monday. I'm very excited to find out about this option for her and wonder why I've never heard of it before. When we reviewed her standardized tests from 3rd grade to the present, we saw such a strong pattern. She always tests very well (in the 80 - 95th percentile) unless the test is timed. If it is timed, she tests in the 20 - 30th percentile. Among other things, this 504 plan will mean more time for her on important state tests and even, eventually, on the ACT and SAT. So, although her grades still need some serious work, at least we are moving in the right direction with her.

Matthew's grades were a little more of a surprise to all of us. First, he got us all psyched up by saying he thinks he has A's in every class. He was really happy because he's trying to get straight A's so he can earn a drum set. (This is his reward if he gets a 4.0 - sadly, we feel pretty safe offering this as a reward.) But it turns out that getting us all excited to see his grades was not a wise move for Matthew. When we saw his actual grades, it was so much more painful than it would have been. He does have A's, but unfortunately, they're only in percussion and PE. In his classes that matter, he's not doing quite so well. I don't get how he can think he's getting an A in English, but then find out he only has 33%. We're now working on the concept of "you get out what you put in."

Anna and Matthew are both grounded until their grades are up. No friends, TV, computer, video games, books, or anything else they like to do until every single assignment is turned in. And, since they apparently need me standing over them for every second of their homework, I'm effectively grounded, too.

An Exercise in Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Tonight was parent teacher conference at our junior high. It is my favorite day of the whole year. I get to sit with a smile on my face while the teachers all congratulate me on what exemplary students my children are. They both have straight A's and are on the high honor roll! And neither one has a single tardy which means outstanding citizenship grades all around.

Time To Get My Thyroid Checked

On Friday, I very nearly backed my car out through the closed garage door. I caught myself in the nick of time. Heart pounding, I drove Abby to school and went in with her to help in her class. While I was there, I realized we'd forgotten her birthday cupcakes . . . again - her birthday was the day before. Since I only live 1/4 mile away, I went home really quick to get them. I ran in, yelled to Anna that I came home to get the cupcakes so she wouldn't think there was an intruder in the house, and got back to the school within 5 minutes. I parked and turned to get the cupcakes, only to realize I'D FORGOTTEN THEM AGAIN!!! So I drove back home, cursing myself the whole way.

Last time I had this severe of a lapse in brain function, my thyroid was really messed up. That was when I left 18 month old Abby in the bathtub by herself for 15 minutes, completely forgotten (the water was only a few inches deep, but still!!); I ladled soup out onto a plate; and I left the iron sitting on the floor. It must be time to get checked again.

I Love You Mama

I got this from my wonderful aunt, Jaynee, and had to share it. This happens in reverse at my house - my kids are the ones in prison.

Happy Birthday Abby!!!

Abby is 6 today!!! If you don't know Abby, but you do know Liahona, then that's almost like knowing Abby.

Six of My Favorite Abbyisms

6) When she was 2-3 years old, she loved to sing "Shake Your Booty" while she grabbed poor Molly's hind end and shook it back and forth. It was especially sweet when the dog's behind would hit her in the face (anybody want a kiss?).

5) Abby has a very contradictory personality. She is a total bulldozer, very strong-minded and persistent. It can be a difficult quality in a child, but will be awesome in an adult. At the same time, she is also very tender-hearted and nurturing (especially to crickets). It's such a funny combination.

4) She came home from preschool last January with a picture of Martin Luther King and told me, "This is Rosa Parks' friend."

3) She calls Box Elder bugs "Ox Gelder" bugs. It's a strong bug that can geld an ox!

3.5) She is a true princess at heart. For her 4th birthday, she got a bunch of princess paraphernalia: crown, fancy gloves, fancy shoes, a crown, and a Cinderella dress. She also got sick that night. But even though she didn't feel well, she put on all of her princess gear and posed for us over and over until she was throwing up.

2) When I asked her, "How do you help crickets that are missing a leg?" she answered totally straight faced and matter-of-fact, "I kill them." (age 5 5/6 - see posts from September 5 and September 18)

1) Finally, the best Abbyism of all, the one that will haunt her for the rest of her life, "I like the smell of fireworks . . . they're like a really good fart." (age 4)

Happy birthday funny girl.

Nervous Breakdown

My last post about the pies was somewhat deceptive in that it made me look very organized and efficient. So I told Paige my next post would be about my messy house and my nervous breakdown. I took pictures but can only bring myself to post the most mild of them - too embarrassing.

left to right: scary toy closet, boxes sitting in my living room, Sam's work on the kitchen floor, the least scary picture of my office

These are the reasons for my fast approaching nervous breakdown (the speed of its approach depends a lot on the time of the month):

• Sam won't stay out of the dogfood. It is his favorite snack. The other day, I caught him with his cheeks bulging. When I asked him what he had, he started spitting it out to give to me. He gave me an entire handful of soggy dogfood. It took him several spits to get it all out, and then he cried because I took away his snack.



• Yesterday, Sam took apart a pen and got blue ink all over himself - I'm still trying to figure out what else he got the ink on. It's even on his butt. (Don't ask me how - he had a diaper on.)



• This morning, Sam took apart another pen, and I found him sticking its various parts into an electrical outlet.



• He has lately learned to turn on the fireplace.



• I recently found 9 cans of food in the trashcan. Sam is obsessed with the trashcan, so we lose shoes, homework, books, toys, stainless steel mixing bowls, etc. to the trash. Steve finally put a lock on the pantry door. We had to put the lock high enough so that Sam couldn't just drag a chair over to unlock the pantry.



• My older kids leave the diswasher unlocked or open. Yesterday, Sam grabbed a 10 inch long sharp knife, and came running across the kitchen with it pointed straight at me to give it to me. I had just a second to decide: grab the knife or grab the kid, grab the knife or grab the kid. I nearly had a heart attack.

Abby posing with the knife for size perspective (Abby is 6 and very responsible with knives. She also only held this knife under close adult supervision, so no need to call CPS)

With the first few babies, we used to be pretty baby proof. Now, it's impossible to baby proof because the older kids all leave doors open, cupboards unlocked, gates open, pens out, outlet covers off, . . . The list goes on and on. It's a good thing he's cute.

Holiday Baking with Friends

On Tuesday of this week, a few friends came over for a pie making day. We spent the entire day making pie filling and pie crusts to go in the freezer for holiday use.

Liz Mitchell (cousin), Me, Deborah and Karin (friends from Utah)


We made 4 quadruple batches of chocolate filling and 4 quadruple batches of vanilla filling. (Vanilla is for banana cream pie, peach cream pie, coconut cream pie, etc.)

And we covered the entire table in plastic wrap and rolled out 58 pie crusts. My niece Sheryl showed up to help, too, and made off with a razzleberry pie.

And we made a giant mess of the kitchen.

And when the kids all asked if they could have pie, I said, "As soon as the kitchen is clean, we can have pie!" They were happy to oblige.

All totalled up: 32 pie fillings, 4 razzleberry pies, 2 apple pies, and 46 pie crusts.

What I got to keep for my freezer: 4 vanilla pie fillings, 4 chocolate pie fillings, 1 razzleberry pie, and 20 pie crusts to use for pecan pies for neighbors and home teachers! My holiday baking is more than halfway done!