Christmas Card Quiz

• Guest post from Steve.

Can you guess which kid has a photoshopped head?

Isn't Photoshop great? You have 5 kids that you're trying to get to smile all at the same time without blinking or making rabbit ears (or any other kind of finger gesture, for that matter). If you're lucky, one out of 50 shots will look good. But with Photoshop, you don't need to take 50 pictures. Just a few. Then cut and paste the best head shots into the best overall picture. And voila, a decent picture! And that's what Susan did with our Christmas picture this year. (She hasn't mastered the airbrush and nip/tuck techniques of Photoshop yet, or I would be in the picture too). Can you guess the kid with the head that was cut/paste?

First, place your vote in the poll to the right, then you can check your answer in the comments. Don't peek!

The True Story

Last night was parent teacher conferences at our junior high. We knew going in what we would find with Anna's grades. We've been dealing with ADHD since kindergarten when I came home from our first ever parent teacher conference in tears. Looking back, I realize that the teacher was an idiot - she didn't have a single positive thing to say to us. Hello . . . it's kindergarten!

Last night, we went ahead and met with her counselor to see what our options are for her. She's in 9th grade, so her grades count now. She can do well and gets A's on nearly everything she turns in, but she works so slowly that she falls behind quickly. And when she falls behind, she falls hard because not handing in homework is a foolproof way to fail all of your classes. The good news is that the counselor told us about this magic thing called a 504 plan. It's for kids with disabilities, including learning disabilities, to help put them on an even playing field. So the counselor is going to start the process of getting a 504 plan in place for her on Monday. I'm very excited to find out about this option for her and wonder why I've never heard of it before. When we reviewed her standardized tests from 3rd grade to the present, we saw such a strong pattern. She always tests very well (in the 80 - 95th percentile) unless the test is timed. If it is timed, she tests in the 20 - 30th percentile. Among other things, this 504 plan will mean more time for her on important state tests and even, eventually, on the ACT and SAT. So, although her grades still need some serious work, at least we are moving in the right direction with her.

Matthew's grades were a little more of a surprise to all of us. First, he got us all psyched up by saying he thinks he has A's in every class. He was really happy because he's trying to get straight A's so he can earn a drum set. (This is his reward if he gets a 4.0 - sadly, we feel pretty safe offering this as a reward.) But it turns out that getting us all excited to see his grades was not a wise move for Matthew. When we saw his actual grades, it was so much more painful than it would have been. He does have A's, but unfortunately, they're only in percussion and PE. In his classes that matter, he's not doing quite so well. I don't get how he can think he's getting an A in English, but then find out he only has 33%. We're now working on the concept of "you get out what you put in."

Anna and Matthew are both grounded until their grades are up. No friends, TV, computer, video games, books, or anything else they like to do until every single assignment is turned in. And, since they apparently need me standing over them for every second of their homework, I'm effectively grounded, too.

An Exercise in Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Tonight was parent teacher conference at our junior high. It is my favorite day of the whole year. I get to sit with a smile on my face while the teachers all congratulate me on what exemplary students my children are. They both have straight A's and are on the high honor roll! And neither one has a single tardy which means outstanding citizenship grades all around.

Halloween

Halloween is over, and we survived. Here's a rundown of the afternoon:

• 4 arguments with kids (3 with the same kid)
• 1 crying child
• 4 blackmail episodes out of which I got clean bedrooms, a clean kitchen and a clean bathroom ("You're not trick-or-treating until your room is clean!")
• several attempts at decent pictures with camera phone because the good cameras are both broken (pictures stink, but I'll post them anyway)
• two hours of FUN and lots of CANDY
• 2 freezing and crying kids
• hot chocolate for everyone
• threats over candy wrappers on the floor
• bed (FINALLY)

All in all, a productive evening.

This is what Sam the pirate looks like without his bottle ("Avast ye scurvy dog! Brin' me me bottle or I'll see ye t' Davy Jones!")

So our only happy Sam picture is with the bottle. ("Arr, me hearty. That be a fine bit o' grog.")

Sarah and Abby, the Cowgirl and Indian. This is the first time since she's had any say in the matter that Sarah hasn't been an animal for Halloween. She still has an animal, but at least she's finally willing to be human.

Matthew as a baby riding on a werewolf's back. He won a couple of prizes at school and at a party. And today at school, they had a "Shout Out" over the PA system to Matthew for having an awesome costume.

He looked especially funny when he was sleeping on a dancing werewolf.

Headless Anna - several people told her that it was the best costume they'd seen all night. She looked awesome! Matthew also heard several times that his was the best costume. Good job guys!

Correction to Pack Rat Post

In yesterday's post, I mentioned that Anna was 72 pounds. That was true a few months ago, but we weighed her tonight, and she has hit 89 pounds. Way to grow, Anna! In addition to the weight, she has gained 3 inches in height in less than a year and . . . (the following information was censored by Anna).

Conquering the Pack Rat

Last week, I walked by Anna's room, and had the shock of my life (nearly). Her room was such a mess that you could barely even walk in the door. There was stuff all over the floor, and her bed was piled high with boxes of more stuff. I'd post pictures, but, sadly, my camera is broken. When I asked her "WHAT THE . . . (insert appropriate word)," she said it had been like that for TWO WEEKS, and she'd been sleeping with her little sisters every night because she couldn't get into her bed. She'd been very careful to keep her door closed that entire time. And, stupid me, it never even occurred to me to open her door when I went upstairs.



I've seen her room a mess before, but never this bad. Apparently, she decided to organize and de-clutter her entire room by putting everything she owns into boxes and then sorting through them one at a time. Anyone who knows Anna or is familiar with the pack rat gene she inherited will appreciate the monumental task she had set for herself.


Needless to say, there was NO WAY that Anna could get that mess sorted through on her own, so I spent nearly an entire Saturday helping her. In a way, it's really fun to go through Anna's room because you never know what you'll find. Here's a short list of some things I've found stashed in her room in the past:

• the cut out oval from the counter top where the sink was installed just because it was too cool to throw away



• the sawed off bottoms of two Christmas trees because they smelled good and were special since they came from our Christmas trees



• a big slice of travertine tile to be used as a self-defense bludgeoning instrument



• several bricks (yes, bricks) that she carried around in her backpack just because she liked them (This was in 4th grade when Anna only weighed about 50 pounds, and she carted them back and forth to school for who knows how long.)



• several ice packs, also in her backpack, for keeping her drinks cold (not as heavy as bricks, but still up there)



• and my favorite, a can of garbanzo beans stashed under her bed for easy access so she wouldn't starve in case she had to abandon her room in a hurry, like in the event of a fire

Anna's 14 now, and I think she's learning to control her pack rat impulses because we didn't find anything all that interesting in her room. But we did manage to get rid of about 8 boxes of stuff (3 boxes of trash, 3 boxes of giveaway, and 2 boxes of too small clothes). I should probably check her backpack, though. Anna only weighs about 72 pounds, and it's seemed really heavy lately; who knows what she could be dragging around with her.

Family Road Trip

We just got home from an impromptu trip to Danville, CA. The kids had Thursday, Friday and Monday off of school, so we just jumped in the car and drove all night last Wednesday to get there. That's a long drive, especially with 5 bickering kids!

It gave me flashbacks of my last trip to Missouri which we are planning to repeat next summer. Last time I did that trip (it takes about 18 hours), I drove through the night, too. So the kids did great on the way there - Abby was 7 months old and did not cry a single time! The trip home, though, was a whole different story.

Before coming home, we (Martha, Liz and I) decided to drive to Nauvoo, Illinois, because the temple had just been dedicated. So we ended up spending about 3 days in the car by the time it was all over. The first two days, everyone did pretty well. But by the last day, Anna kicked it off by running non-stop circles around the breakfast table in the hotel we'd stayed in. Liz very sweetly asked me if she'd had her pill. Abby cried on and off the whole day, and for the last few hours of the drive, she puked apple juice. We were getting so close to the end of the trip that we didn't want to stop to nurse her, so we kept pacifying her with apple juice. Her stomach apparently was not happy with that solution. I got in back and held her for a while so she wouldn't choke herself lying on her back in her carseat. She puked all over me several times in about a 20 minute period. Then, when we finally got home, the doors were all locked and I didn't have a key. On top of that, I was supposed to meet with the bishop about 15 minutes after we got home, and I was soaked in apple juice puke.

We finally found an upstairs window that was cracked open. My neighbor climbed up a ladder and pulled the screen off, then had 9 year old Anna climb up in front of him to shimmy through the open window. She's always been a good climber. Hopefully, next summer's big trip will be a little less eventful.

Time Out Still Works for Teenagers

The day after Anna's 14th birthday, I had to break up an argument between her and Abby. I can't remember what it was about, but Anna was acting like a 5 year old. So I told her, "If you act like a five year old, you're going to get treated like a five year old. You're on time-out." She looked at me like I was crazy and asked, "Are you serious?" I assured her I was and made her go to her room for 14 minutes, one minute for each year of her actual age, not the age she was acting. Then I set the timer just like I would for Abby.



About 10 minutes later, a bunch of the 14-15 year old girls from our ward showed up at the door to welcome Anna into Mia Maids. Abby answered the door, and when she saw it was for Anna, she asked me if Anna could come off of time out now. When I told her yes, she yelled very loudly up the stairs, "Anna, you can come off of time out now!!!"



Of course, poor shy Anna was so embarrassed that she no longer wanted to come off of time out, hoping instead to just curl up and die in her room without ever having to face the girls from our ward. But, just in case she hadn't heard, Abby kept yelling that she could come off of time out, so she had to come down and face her peers after being mortally embarrassed by her little sister and mother.



Sorry Anna. I didn't mean to be the cause of your most embarrassing moment, but the laugh I got from it sure made it worth it!

Sweet Anna

Y Sugar and spice and everything nice - that's what little girls are made of.